Zombie Drive-by

Move up, ladies

Grand Theft Auto finally hit yesterday in its fourth incarnation. I had a bit of trouble locating a copy and had to travel a great distance just to find a shop that might get stock later in the day. Apparently a crime game is totally irrelevant in a country where you can murder a family for a wallet and a cell phone and not get hassled. The anticipation I felt for this game’s release was quite powerful, enough that it paralysed my brain in the final stages so that I was unable to perform the slightest task.

It was possible that the game–like San Andreas before it–would not live up to my jonesing and be somewhat disappointing. So I spent whatever final hours I could get out of yesterday in the game, discovering that Rockstar has now put into the hands of every addict a complete new world to manipulate, mould and terrorise as they wish. The scale of involvement in this title is huge, ranging from an old car’s squeaking suspension and noisy brakes to all the new physics that affect everything. Hillary Clinton’s gonna be mebelipissed.

It’s possible that there are flaws in this work that I have yet to see, but at the moment I am quite satisfied at calling this the best game ever made and prepare myself to defend that claim. Although I think the only thing I need to prepare myself for is having GTA4 swallow up years of my life.

Unemployed

Here I am then after leaving my career. It feels quite unreal at the moment, although that might very well be my usual regimen of recreational drugs working themselves out of my system. advance cash on line,advance cash line loan,budget line cash advancepay day cash advance payday loan,pay day loan cash advancecash advance until pay day,advance cash day paysame day cash advance,same day cash advance loanonline cash advance company,online casino cash advance,online cash advancecash in advanceno faxing cash advance,advance cash faxing money no now,advance cash faxing loan noquick cash payday loaninheritance cash advanceadvance cash fax machine no required,account advance cash fax no saving,no fax cash advancefast cash advance,advance cash fast faxing no,easy fast cash advancecash advance payday loan softwarecash advance loanadvance cash overnightcash loan payday untilcash advance new yorkcash international loan payday servicesadvance cash cash loan loan payday quick,advance cash loan payday,payday payday loan cash advance loanace advance america cash,advance america cash advance,advance america bank cashadvance cash loan payday quicknational cash advanceovernight cash advance,advance cash loan overnight,advance cash overnightfast cash advance payday loanadvance cash chicago settlement,pre settlement cash advance,advance cash settlementadvance cash check credit nofirst american cash advancecash loan payday,cash advance loan payday internet,advance cash loan ok payday sacramentocash advance servicepayday loan cash advance loanace cash advancepayday cash advance,payday cash advance alabama,payday cash advance oregoncash til payday loanadvance cash loan onlinefast cash payday loan,payday us fast cash loanloan oneclickcash paydayadvance cash faxing magnum,magnum cash advanceallied cash advancepayday cash loanfaxless cash advance,advance cash faxless loan,no fax faxless cash advance payday loanpay day cash advance,advance cash day loan pay,advance cash day loan pay paydayadvance cash loan online,cash advance loan online,advance cash fast loan onlineadvance america cashcash loan payday quickcash advance payday loan5 advance cash illinois loan,cash advance loan illinoisadvance bad cash credit loan loan,bad credit cash advance,advance bad cash credit servicesfirst cash advance,first time cash advance,first choice cash advancecash fast loan paydayadvance cash check credit no,cash advance no credit check,advance cash check credit no onlineadvance cash loan loan payday I’ve gone from mad shifts to a relatively normal pattern of sleeping late and playing Gran Turismo. It’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it.

Barring any hold-ups, I should be landing in Sweden within a month or so. Population around 20 per square kilometer, GDP about $336 billion. Largest export: blonde babes. I’m hoping that being from an alien country will play in my favour somehow, similar to when citizens of Krypton visit Earth. Reasonable as I am, I’m not going to try and leap any tall buildings in a single bound. That kind of thing takes practice.

Chicken foot Sammy?

Totally factual news

• Study shows women attracted to pears more than cars - May be most significant breakthrough since science was invented.

• Suspect questioned in Texas shooting - Let go afterwards.

• South Africa reverses Marijuana ban - Citizens can now get as fucked-up as the rest of the country.

• Lithuanian prime minister speaks out against U.S. war on terror: “stop DMing ffs!”

• Madagascar sinks - “That movie sucked!” Says specialist.

Now a word from our sponsors

One of the things I’ve been doing while not blogging is to watch dangerous amounts of downloaded TV and movies. So here’s a note of the more notable TV shows of note:

Prison Break

Everyone who kept watching after there was no prison or break in season 2 has been well rewarded, since season 3 once again has both. The surreal quality of the new hellhole prison called Sona, along with the general lawlessness of Panama adds a few other interesting elements to the show. Not to mention the fact that most surviving characters from the previous seasons are now incarcerated with Scofield.

Notice: The previous paragraph contained season 2 spoilers.

Californication

I got to check this one out while the first season was still being aired and was surprised to find that up until then I didn’t even know about the funniest show on TV.

The show follows writer Hank Moody as he cleverly sleeps with every woman in California in an attempt to win back his true love. There is a shortage of Californication quote pages on the internet, probably because anyone who’s ever tried making one realised that you might as well just repost the script instead of trying to retype all the funny lines in the show.

It’s on right after Weeds, just in case anyone watching didn’t already think Showtime was the best broadcaster on the planet.

Dexter

I’ll admit that adding a hot brunette with a British accent to the cast may have altered my opinion somewhat, but the second season of Dexter just seemed better somehow. It was already one of few shows that managed to be good despite an interesting concept, and this season the story of a serial killer fighting crime has never looked so good.

The Lost Room

This 6-ep miniseries had come and gone long before I checked it out, and is based mostly around this very interesting premise: A motel room has somehow become unstuck in space-time and can now only appear if its key is used in any other compatible door. From within the room you can travel instantly to any other compatible door. It’s one of a few Science Fiction shows that gets by without aliens and long explanations about gannet radiation in the lavatory.

Top Gear

The new format Top Gear is clearly not just another motoring show, and over the years has become the bitter template that other motoring shows can only aspire to if they want cars and viewers.

The show’s rather strange Gonzo-like format is what makes it unique, and this along with an apparently huge budget has made this last season the best so far.

I shall quite like to show you the drawing room

Good day to you, one and all. I’d apologise once again for my laziness and lack of updating, but obviously it won’t be sincere. The things happening in my life have been fairly routine. Even the bits that were unusual were not altogether unexpected. South Africa, for instance, has once again been united in complaining about growing problems.

This time the local electricity provider has been executing rolling power cuts due to bad planning and general incompetence. This is called load shedding, and over here it’s the reason that yet another traffic light is no longer working every time you drive home. Load shedding is nothing new here. January actually marks its first anniversary. We joke that it’s becoming like Zimbabwe, and then nobody laughs.

It is just one of the things that has been contributing to my growing feeling that the noose is being tightened, and that has made me decide that it is now time. Yesterday  I resigned from the IT company where I’ve worked for 6 years, with the intention of moving to Europe post haste. Among other things, I find it interesting that I finally got a really cushy job and then almost immediately started planning my escape. Apparently that escape plan just won’t do if it couldn’t potentially become very difficult for me.

It’s unclear exactly when I will be invading the European shores, but if you happen to watch the news one day and they announce a sharp drop in coolness figures over there, you will know.

Of close calls and expensive smells

I’m not a very good blogger, am I? I can present an excuse, of course. I’ve been experiencing multiple concurrent hardware failures over the holiday period. For the first time since I hooked myself up to the world of computing, things inside my computer have crossed over and left only the smell of burning silicon to mark their passing. It started with the motherboard, then the hard drive contents decomposed under mysterious circumstances. At the same time my internet came undone and I sort of had to learn to do without.

I can present that as an excuse, but I have to admit that the real reason I didn’t update was authentic laziness. By now the internet has become so close to my life that the world would about have to end before I was more than three steps away from easily-accessible porn. I have an RSS reader on my phone, man.

Just like when the power goes out, I was forced to realise that I am heavily dependant on the machine. At work I sit in front of a computer for hours, then I come home and sit in front of another one some more. With the hardware failures I got to experience a bit of a life more normal. I sat around the house for a while and stared at things. I watched TV, the news was on. I swear, if it wasn’t for pot I would’ve gone to the garage and tried to build myself a hat stand or something.

Fake news - free as in puke

Following the enormous success and triumph of democracy the Bush administration has enjoyed in the last two terms, they have now declared that democracy will rule over the whole empire.

Chief among the upcoming changes are services like such as Science uVote, where nationwide ballots will be collected relating to science and medicine, giving everyday people the freedom to decide what should be done to cure diseases and what else can be done with batteries. Whichever answer gets the most votes will be obeyed by all, the rest will be dismissed as wrong.

Changes already made include the change of spelling from Europe to Urop, “because names of countries with letters you don’t say is just dumb.” As always, corporate sponsorship will be accepted and votes will be recounted as necessary.

I, for one…

Sony’s a weird creature in the animal kingdom. I’ve always been impressed by their high quality products, but then they’ve recently been experimenting with some interesting business practices. Most notably they got caught spying on users with hacking tools embedded in their discs.

Now they’ve decided to unkill and upgrade their Aibo robot dog, adding features like headcams with POV streaming, facial recognition and a seemingly Cylon eyepiece.

Nice. Imagine this dark and deceptively small robot using its ever-scanning eyepiece to observe all your habits and stare at you while you’re sleeping.

lolbot

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